i barfeds in our rink
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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