I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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