i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
