I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize