If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
