Whatcha textin bout Willis?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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