I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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