I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
