We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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