So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
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