i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
im six kinds of drunk right now
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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