Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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