her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He felt like a one man threesome
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize