You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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