I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Just cropdusted the office
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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