I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
21 Sketchy Drug Deals That Are Scary AF
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.