Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.