I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip