do herpes really smell.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..