i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
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the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
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We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.