Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
The best revenge is premature balding
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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