wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
