Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
