Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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