I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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