OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
