i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
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We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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