these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
