right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
