Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
