life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
