party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
