First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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