between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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