Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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