there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
