It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
