$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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