no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
someone get that fucking seahorse.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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