theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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