***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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