It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
