Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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