Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
