Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
