I am puke
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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