I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I AM VODKA MAN
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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