wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
