It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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