I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize