well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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