hotel room ftw
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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