But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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