Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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