I want to stick my p in your. b.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
