I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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