the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
