Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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