How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
