is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
