She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
pray to the hookup gods
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
