Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
