I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
The Olympian is in my bed
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
