Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
