dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
