So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
