I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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