When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
