maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
